Sehemu Ya Nne (4)
Kama ambavyo nlishawahi kusema, Nora ni aina ya wasichana ambao nliinjoy sana kampani yao. Hachoshi kuwa nae, haikua sex tu, na kimsingi ile jumamosi hatukutiana tena, ila it was fun to be around her.
Tuliongea mengi, tulisikiliza mziki, tulicheza mziki, (ukiwa in love wazee, unainjoi sana love songs, yaani zile lyrics zinapenya kama zilivyo. Love is a beautiful thing mazee. If you have been in love you will understand what I mean). Nakumbuka kuna a song inaitwa ‘dance again’ ya J’lo, basi aliupenda kishenzi, akawa ikifika yale mashairi yake
……… baby your fire is lighting me up, the way that you move boy is reason enough, that I love to make love to you baby. I cant behave oh I want you so much, your lips taste like heaven so why should I stop? Yeah, I love to make love to you babe………….
Basi ataninyanyua pale nlipokaa, ananisogelea ile zero distance, anaanza kukata kiuno slowly, yaani ile kiuno chake tu ndo kinamove, then anakua ananitazama huku anaimba. Ikifika muda wa Pitbull anarap nakua nahisi kama natakiwa nitambae nae ila ndo siwezi hahhaha, basi atanipa denda pale mpaka Jlo aanze tena kuimba. Nikawa najisemea, kama waliooa wanainjoi hivi, mbona ndoa zinavunjika dah……
Sometimes tulikaa tu kimya tumekumbatiana kila mtu anawaza vyake. Sijui yeye alikua anawaza nini, but mawazo yangu yalikua yamejikita kwenye namna ntakavyo mshawishi boss Rona anikubali kama mkwewe. Mbinu ambayo akili yangu ilikua inanishauri ni kwanza kumuweka wazi Nora, yani nimwambie dogo sikia, mimi na mama yako tushawahi kulana, ila zamani sana hahahahah. Dah, ila moyo ndo ulikua unagoma. Sikujua kwa hakika Nora atakavyoipokea. Ila kiukweli ni bora nimwambie mimi kuliko kuja kugundua kwa namna nyingine. Shida ilikua namwambiaje sasa..
I remember siku hiyo wote tulipitiwa usingizi kwenye kochi. Usiku sana nlivyostuka ndo nikamhamishia room. Nora amekuja kuamka saa nne asubuhi, wakati huo nlikua nishaandaa mayai, mikate na kahawa (kitu kingine nilichokua namshukuru Mungu ni kuwa both of us were coffee people, she loved coffee, so did I. I kissed her goodmorning and asked her to have breakfast. She said she has to clean up first. Nikajua tu asubuhi hii anataka akakate gogo kabisa. Ila ndo nikashangaa maana kabla hatujawa wapenzi alikua ananambia bt now anajitahidi kufichaficha hahaha.
Nikamuona akiwa ana came out of the bathroom amejifunga kanga pichu mkononi, mm niko nimekaa mezani namsubiri tupate chochote. Bt muonekano wake ukafanya nitamani kumla yeye kabla ya mayai. Nikawa namfuata, kama alijua vile nnachomfuatia, akawa ananikimbia, tukawa tunafukuzana mle sebuleni, anazunguka kochi, nikimfuata kulia anaenda kushoto, hadi kanga aliyovaa ikamtoka akawa kama alivyozaliwa, anacheka tu. Baadae kaamua eti akimbilie room, mm huyo namkimbiza. Kuingia room namkuta kasimama hakimbii tena, anatabasam tu. Nikawa namsogelea, akaniambia, “ vua nguo pia”…. Nikatii. Hapo tupo umbali kama mita mbili hivi from each other.
Tukawa sasa wote naked tunaangaliana tu. Kila mtu anamuappreciate mwenzie. Ile kukimbizana kiliipooza kidogo rombo, bt ile situation ya kuangaliana tukiwa naked ikafanya mnara utoke 3G mpaka 5G. She saw the transformation and she smiled. Sijui hata nani alimfuata mwenzie, ila tulijikuta in each other’s arms. And the sex was so much, so much sweet, Norah was something else jamani dah. naomba nisiende into details sana.
Nikaleta our breakfast kitandani tukawa tunakula with stories. Akawa analalamika kukosa kanisani. Anasema huwa haachi kwenda church hata iweje, so kukosa siku ile kukawa kunamdisturb akili. Nikamwambia, next Sunday tutaenda wote asijali. Akafurahi kinoma. Mida ya saa sita unusu hivi, stori zikiwa zimepamba moto tukasikia tena … ngo, ngo, ngo………….
Akili yangu ikajua atakua Boss Rona. Nadhani na Nora aliwaza the same maana alisema, “itakua mama”… nikamwambia, “yeah, itakua amefuata documents zake nilimuahidi jana bt sijafanya chochote”, “so tunafanyaje?” akauliza, bt hakua na wasiwasi sana kama jana. “relax, just stay inside usitoke kabisa wala kufanya chochote kitakachotoa sauti maana anaweza taka tuanze ifanyia kazi hiyo document sasa hivi na itachukua muda”.. akakubaliana na mm. kipindi hicho nlikua natumia simu Nokia moja inaitwa XpressMusic, ilikua na miziki kibao nikampa ili asiwe bored, ila lengo kubwa lilikua asisikie maongezi yetu.
I went and opened for Boss. This time sikuweza mzuia asiingie ndani. She went straight kwenye kochi. Hakua anasema kitu mpaka muda huo. Ila najua alivoniangalia alijua sikupendezwa na ugeni wake. “where is your girlfriend?” ndo ilikua swali lake la kwanza. Nikamjibu short tu, yupo ndani. Mpaka mda huo nlikua nimesimama tu, nlitaka ajue she is not welcome. “skiliza Kiga, mimi na wewe ni watu wazima hakuna mtoto kati yetu. Jana nimekesha nawaza about us. Ni kweli you need to have a girl of your own, sipaswi kuwa na roho mbaya ya kukuzuia. Bt naomba nikuulize swali, do you love her?” alivyouliza hili swali, sijui hata kwanini Bt out of nowhere nikajikuta nasmile, it was involuntary, ila nikarecover na kumjibu, “I love her so much boss, please understand why I cant continue with you”. Nilijibu hivi maana nilijua namjibu mama mkwe mtarajiwa, nilitaka siku akijua girlfriend wangu ni mwanae bas ajue pia kiasi gani nampenda binti ake kiasi cha kumtosa yeye.
“I understand. You see, just like me it seems you finally found the love of your life. You know me Kiga. And I’m sure you know how much I love you. Jinsi unavyojisikia kwa huyo mpenzi wako, ndo na mimi najisikia kwako. Just imagine how I feel right now. Mtu unaempenda kiasi hicho anakwambia hakutaki tena, imagine that Kiga”, nikawa namuona macho yanajaa chozi, bt sio zile za kutiririka…. Sikuwa na jibu ndugu msomaji.
Dah. Kati ya vitu vigumu nishawahi kufanya, basi kuandika haya ninayoandika ni mojawapo. Kati ya siku ambazo natamani zijirudie ili nibadilishe yaliyotokea basi ni siku hii. Kati ya makosa makubwa ambayo nishawahi kufanya na yakanikosti ni kosa ambalo nilifanya mchana wa jumapili hii. Natamani niiruke nisiandike chochote, bt naona labda nikiandika ile guilty ninayojisikia mpaka leo itaisha. I fucked up, and I fucked up big time. Sio kwamba nlikua sijui kuwa ntakachofanya kitamaanisha mimi na Norah ndo basi, nilijua sana ktk akili yangu, ila basi tu nikajikuta natenda kosa kubwa. Sitaki hata kumsingizia shetani, maana nilijua kabisa kila kitu, katika vitu kama mwanaume hutakiwi kufanya mazee, basi nlijikuta nimekitenda kimojawapo siku hii.
Kabla ya jumapili hii, boss Rona alikua ni kama X tu, yaani mpaka siku hii sikuwahi kuwachanganya mama na mwana, and I wanted to maintain that status quo. Ntahadithia dhambi nliyoifanya ila sitasema namna nlivyoifanya.
Nakumbuka, nlikua nmesimama boss alikua amekaa kwenye kochi. Then alisimama, akanifuata nilipo. Kinachoniumiza Zaidi ni kuwa uwezo wa kumzuia nlikua nao, ila sikuutumia ndugu msomaji. Nakumbuka akiwa amesimama close to me alinambia, “Give me this one time, and I will teach myself to un-love you”, sasa sijui ni ahadi yake kuwa after today hatanisumbua tena, au ni subconscious memories of her sweet cunt zilizonifanya nimuache afanye atakacho.
Aliniongoza hadi chumba cha pili ambacho kilikua upande wa pili wa sebule (yani hii nyumba ilikua ukitoka chumbani kwangu kuna korido then kabla hujaingia sebuleni unakutana na mlango wa kuingia jikoni, then after sebule upande wa pili kuna korido nyingine ambayo kuna chumba cha pili pamoja na bafu. So milango ya kuningia vymbani ilikua on the extreme sides of the house). Ile idea ya kumla mara ya mwisho boss Rona ilinijaa akilini kiasi kwamba mzuka ukaanza kunipanda. She undressed me, nikajikuta tu mikono imeenda takoni……………………. I was sooooooo stupid. Kama nlivosema mwanzo, mwanaume kunamiiko hutakiwi kuivunja, 1. Kumtia ndugu wa mtu unaempenda (kuna watu watasema mbona ulimla pendo na mdogo wake hahahahaha, sikua nimependa yeyote kati yao). 2. Kumtia rafiki wa mtu unaempenda (labda kwa ruhusa ya mke wako kama ilivotokeaga kwangu hahahah hii ni stori nyingine maybe ntaiweka one day) 3. Usichepuke na mtu wa mtaani kwako (ikibidi kuwa na mchepuko, tafuta wa mbali sana huko, yaani kama unaishi mbezi, nenda kaharibu salasala). So kumla boss Rona that day ilikuwa kuvunja mwiko mkubwa sana. Na the fact kuwa her daughter was on another room ilikua ni beyond ufisadi, ndo maana mpaka hua nasema nastahili consequences zilizonipata baada ya hii dhambi……….
http://pseudepigraphas.blogspot.com/
Kama kawa wazee. Majuto huja baada ya goli kuchomoka. I felt so bad baada ya wagiriki kutoka. Mawazo yote kwa mpenzi wangu Nora. BossRona akawa ananifuta pale tena kwa mdomo wake, dah, sikua hata naelewa kinachoendelea. Nikavaa chapu, boss Rona kuna kitu alikua ananiambia bt hata sikuwa namsikiliza…. Nikafungua mlango nikaenda kwa the love of my life, the only girl I ever loved. Ile nimeingia room namkuta Norah kajilaza anasikiliza mziki huku macho ameyafunga. I just stopped there, looking at her. Alikua anasililiza mziki kwa sauti kubwa sana, kiasi kwamba sidhani kama alinisikia nikiingia. Niliweza kuusikia mziki aliokua anausikiliza, mashairi niliyasikia live ingawa kwa sauti ya mbali ……
……. Just think of all the moments that we’d spend, I just can’t let you go, for me you were meant, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know that in the game of love you reap what you sow……..
Sijui ilikua ni sababu ya sauti nzuri ya Rose Royce ktk huu wimbo wa Wishing on a Star au ni mashairi ya huu wimbowake, au ni ile sura ya upole ya Norah nliyokua naitizama, au ni hisia tu za makosa niliyomtendea Norah ndo yalifanya nianze kulia. Sio ile ya kulia vimachozi vinatiririka huku ukiwa umesimama, hapana. I started sobbing ndugu msomaji. Yaani nilichuchumaa pale pembeni ya mlango nikaanza kulia. I felt guilty, stupid, Malaya vyote kwa pamoja. Nlistuka Norah amepiga magoti mbele yangu ananibembeleza, maskini hakua anajua kinachoniliza. She just hugged me huku ananiambia “its ok my love, Im here”, katika maneno anayo tamka wakati ananibembeleza nikatambua anahisi labda nimeandaa report vibaya mama yake kanizingua. Basi akanikokota hadi kwa bed. Akanilaza halaf akalala pembeni yangu amenihug. Kule kulia kukawa kumekoma bt machozi bado yakawa yanatoka kiasi. Yaani Nora, si akaanza kunichezea dushe huku anazidi nipa maneno ya kunituliza, alivoona imesimama, akaipandia. Yani mm hata sikua natoa ushirikiano. Ni kama akili haikua pale isipokua dushe peke yake.
Kama alidhani sex itanifanya nijisikie vizuri alikosea sana. Ilinifanya tu machozi yastop, ila moyo wangu ulikua bado unalia. Yani uzito wa tukio lililotokea siku hiyo mpaka leo siwezi libeba bila kupata maumivu ya moyo. So ingawa najua sio Nora wala Rona watakaosoma hapa, natumia fursa hii kuomba radhi kwa nafsi zao. I am really sorry.
“The downfall”
Norah wala hakutaka nimwambie chochote abt why I was crying. Believe me, nilitamani sana nimwambie ili walau nipate tulizo la moyo, ila kila nlipojaribu kuanza alinisitisha akisema she doesn’t care, her job is to make her man happy and that’s what she will do. Nakumbuka alisema, “hata kama umeua mtu bro, I’ll go to jail with you”. Basi mi nikatoka kwenda kumtimua boss Rona. Room hakuepo, so nikajua alisepa saa nyingi. Badae Norah akaanza kujiandaa maana alikua amemwambia mama yake kuwa wataingia stendi saa kumi, na hapo ilikua saa tisa kasoro kadhaa.
Idea ilikua kabla ya hiyo saa kumi aende home. Yaani kabla mama yake hajaamua kutoka kwenda kumfuata stendi. Then akifika amwambie waliwahi kutoka Mwanza so wamewahi kufika pia, akachukua taxi hadi mbele ya quaters. So alipiga uniform zake fresh. Alivyokua ready akanihug for sometime, she kissed me quickly, then akaniambia kesho yake atajitahidi kuja tena so nikitoka job niwahi kurudi. Niliplan kumsindikiza hadi mbele ya home kwangu, ila sio kabla ya mimi kuangalia mazingira ya usalama, hatukutaka jirani ahisi katokea pale kwangu.
I opened the door. Akawa ametoka ili mimi nitoke na begi then nifunge mlango. So akawa amenitangulia mpaka mbele ya kibaraza changu. Then nilisikia tu, “oh My Gooooood”, nikaacha kufunga mlango kwenda kucheki. Sikuamini nlichokiona maze, Uso kwa uso na Boss Rona.
Niliona hisia zote anazoweza hisi binadamu kwenye uso wa Boss Rona that day, hasa alipoona begi la mwanae pale kwa kibaraza….. sura ilianza na mshangao, then aibu, ikafuatiwa na ufahamu wa kinachoendelea, then huzuni na ikamalizia hasira…….. vyote hivyo in a matter of seconds. Then kabla yeyote hajasema chochote, boss Rona akaanguka chini kapoteza fahamu….
Then I saw something that made me realize that a bond between a mother and daughter is unbreakable. Norah aliruka kumfuata mama yake, akakaa chini halafu kamuegemeza mama yake kwenye mapaja yake. Her face was full of guilt. Yaani alivyonitazama, nikaona namna anavyoumia moyoni. Katika kipindi hicho kifupi sura yake ishabadilika kuwa nyekundu, kamasi zinamtoka, machozi yashalowanisha uso mzima, Analia huku ananitazama as if ananiambia, “look at what we’ve done”.
http://pseudepigraphas.blogspot.com/
Akili ikanijia fasta kumpeleka hosp. nikawa nakimbia kuelekea kwake kuchukua Suzuki yake. Kumbe alikua amekuja nayo, ameipaki karibu kabisa na kwangu. Nikarudi, tukambeba, ingawa wakati huo alikua ashazinduka sema hana nguvu, machozi tu yanambubujika. Norah anamwambia tu, “I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry ……” maskini hakujua kilichomzimisha mama yake sio hata alichokiwaza.
Tulivyomfikisha hosp, akawa kapewa kitanda apumzike huku kawekewa dripu. Nikawa namshauri Norah arudi home ili nibaki na Rona tuone tunajipanga vipi na hili janga. Nora kaniambia hamuachi mama yake. She owes her an apology. Akashauri tuwapigie simu mume wa boss na pale home, nikamkataza. Nikamwambia ni mshituko tu, she will be ok, tusiwashtue watu. She reached for my hand, then akanambia, “no matter what happens, we will be together again. This might be the last time we see each other this holiday, maana najua hasira za mama atanikataza kabisa kutoka, bt please lets keep our promises and vows”, hata sikumjibu alichosema, nilijikuta nashindwa kusema chochote.
Nakumbuka, wala boss Rona hakulazwa usiku pale. Daktari alishauri turudi nae home. So mida ya saa moja hivi tukawa tumetoka hosp. kufika kwenye gari, boss akaomba ufunguo, nikampa then nikapanda siti za nyuma. Rona alivoingia kwenye gari akasema “get out of my car”…. Nikawa kama sielewi hivi, ndo akanigeukia kabisa na kushout, “get the fuuuuuuuuck out”,. Norah akataka kunitetea pale, “mom please, lets explain”, “shut up”……. Nikaona niepushe shari, nikashuka, Nora akawa ananivuta nibaki, nikamwambia, ntachukua taxi, go with mom, she needs you more. Nikaona kanaanza kulia, mi nikatoka. Hao wakasepa……..
Nimefika home siku hiyo, sikulikuta begi la Nora pale out, nikajua walilibeba. So nikajua walau waliongea, ingawa nilihofu aina ya mazungumzo yao, ila nilijua lazima yalikua dominated na Nora kumuomba msamaha mama yake. One thing I was sure, Rona hataweza mwambia mwanae kuwa alikua anatoka na mimi. Nilikua na uhakika huo kwa sababu kwanza Rona ameolewa, na anapaswa kulinda heshima yake mbele ya mwanae. Pili, asingeweza kumbebesha aibu anayojisikia sasa mwanae pia, yani mwanae pia ajue ameshare mwanaume na mama yake, she would protect her daughter from that shame, that I was sure of. Ila nilijua mimi na Nora ndo basi tena. Her mom will never allow me kumuoa. Hata ingekua wewe ndugu msomaji, hii ni kitu usingeruhusu.
Kesho yake job nikakuta tu stori, boss Rona anaumwa so amepewa ED ya siku tano. Mimi nlichoamua kufanya that day ni kuresign. So nikaandika barua ya kuacha kazi ndani ya muda wa saa 24. Ki utaratibu unatakiwa ulipe mshahara wa mwezi mmoja ukiwa unaacha kazi so I made arrangements mshahara wa mwezi huo wasinipe. Watu walishangaa sana why nachukua uamuzi wa harakaharaka namna hiyo. Nikawahakikishia, naenda sehem nzuri Zaidi so waniombee tu, wakati hata sijui what I will do from here on…. Aliyesikitika Zaidi that day ni Lyamuya, kidogo alie. Akanihug pale na kunitakia all the best. Nikamuahidi I will always be in touch. Nikamwambia pia namuachia everything kwenye ile nyumba, avifanye anavyotaka isipokua vitabu tu ambavyo ntavifuata oneday.
Sikutaka hata kurudi kule home. Nliazimia kuanza upya kabisa na kusahau whatever happened in this beautiful Capital of our beloved Nation……
.....Winter is Coming....
So kiufupi I travelled to Dsm that same day. Nakumbuka kwenye basi nilikaa kwenye siti na dada mmoja hivi ambaye alikua anapenda penda kama tuongee hivi, bt I was not in the mood. Itakua ndo wale wanaoliwaga kimasihara na masela kwenye uzi wa rikiboy. Nimefika DSM night. I took a room kwa hotel nikajitupia kitandani.
Asubuhhi naamka ndo nasikia njaa, nikakumbuka mara ya mwisho kula ni juzi yale mayai na kahawa. Nikaamua kutoka ile hotel na kwenda kutafuta msosi. Mpaka leo hua napita maeneo ya bar ya pale riverside na kuwaunga hata kwa bia mbili kwa kumbukumbu ya siku ile. Nakumbuka nilikaa sana pale, yaani kuanzia breakfast hadi dinner. But niliutumia muda wangu vizuri. I planned my life that day.
Kwanza nilijua natakiwa kusahau kuhusu mapenzi. I had a shot at love and I blew it. So nikaamua that day kuwa, nikifika miaka 30, ntazaa na mwanamke yeyote tu. Then baadae ntaongeza wengine kadri life litakavyoruhusu. Pili nikaamua pesa kidogo nliyokua nayo ntafungua ofisi ya issue za kuburn CD (enzi hizo it was a big deal), kuflash simu, kucharge simu pamoja na kuuza some accessories za simu. Na mwisho niliamua kuwa na kampuni sasa ile niliyokua naiplan siku zote.
That day nililala hotel pia. Ila kesho yake nikaingia mitaa ya Kimara kusaka geto. Dar bana, hela yako tu, huchelewi kupata unachotaka. Ingawa sikupata aina ya makazi ninayotaka sehemu ambayo ni karibu na barabara, ila nilifanikiwa kupata chumba na sebule eneo fulani katikati ya Baruti na Msewe. It was a good compound, full usalama na eneo la kutosha. Same day nikanunua kitanda kidogo futi 3.5 pamoja na godoro. Mpaka namaliza hiyo michakato yote jioni ishafika. Zamani kulikua na bar moja maarufu pale kimara baruti, nikaenda kupata msosi na kuangalia live band huku natafakari how my life will be. Ila kila nikimkumbuka Nora Napata maumivu ya moyo. Love hurts aisee.
So that’s how I settled in Dar. Ofisi yangu ilikua mitaa ya kimara Korogwe pale, ule mtaa juu ya tuta la barabara karibu na bar flani walikua wanauza kitimoto moja matata (ustaadh JBourne59 utanisamehe hahaha). Wiki ya kwanza ilikua ya watu kuja kushangaa shangaa tu pale hasa wadada. Utasikia “kaka una wimbo wa Suma lee” ukisema upo utasikia “wa Pasha je, ule unaitwa ni soo?” ukimwambia upo pia basi anakwambia ntakuja kuburn cd kesho, ziandae kabisa. kesho hata humuoni, akija basi itakua ni kwa issue nyingine kabisa. Bt the next week nikaanza kupata walau hela ya kula. I burned VCDs na MP3s za kutosha. All this time, wala sikutaka kujua whats happening in Dom. Kusema ukweli matamanio yangu ilikua Nora anisahau kabisa, na amove on. Ingawa nilimpenda bt our relationship has become too much complicated to take it further. She is young and beautiful, she will find someone else.
Then Sunday nikatafuta kanisa nikaenda kusali after a long long time. Nakumbuka ilikua ni parokia ya pale Msewe. Mahubiri ya siku hiyo ni kama yalikua yananigusa live. Nikaelewa kwa nini walokole hua wanalia kanisani. Kiufupi yule padre siku hiyo alianza kama kutusema watu tunaoishi kwenye dhambi na kuona kama kawaida, yani uko na girlfriend mnaishi kama mke na mume then mnaona ni sawa tu. Ila akamaliza kutukumbusha kuwa Mungu wetu husamehe. Hii ikanipa walau ahueni kuwa nikiamua kumpigia magoti Mungu nikamuomba msamaha basi atanisamehe. After church, nikarudi home nikiwa na mpango nicheki movie the whole day…
Mida ya saa tisa hivi nikasikia simu inaita…. Kupokea nikajua instantly who was on the other side of the phone. Ile sauti hata angeongea taratibu kwa sauti ya chini bado siwezi isahau. Ni sauti ambayo imeniimbia mara nyingi, imenibembeleza nilipolia, imenichekesha, imenitania, imeniambia nakupenda mara kibao.. it was Norah. Alivyosema hallo, nikajikuta Napata furaha. Ingawa nilishachukua maamuzi ya kumpotezea bt sjui why nilifurahi kusikia sauti yake. Nilikaa sekunde kadhaa bila kusema chochote. Hadi aliporudia tena “hello”, ndo nikakusanya nguvu kumjibu, “hello kiddo”. She giggled (ile kucheka kindanindani kama unaguna). Nikaendelea, “are you ok”, akanijibu everything is fine. ‘simu ya nani?’ akajibu ya housegirl wao. Akaniambia mama yake bado inaonekana anahasira naye ila walau anaitikia salam yake. Ndo kunipa updates ya kilichoendelea. Akasema boss Rona alijifungia chumbani kwake kwa siku mbili, hali chochote. Nora akasema alijihisi mkosaji sana kwa mamayake na kuona amemdisappoint sana.
http://pseudepigraphas.blogspot.com/
Akaendelea kuniambia siku ya tatu ilibidi ashinde mlangoni kwa mama yake akilia pia. Akasema alikaa mlangoni kuanzia saa moja asubuhi mpaka saa tano Analia tu na kuomba msamaha. Baadae alivyoona mama yake hafungui ndo ikabidi amwambie mama yake kuwa hawezikuona anakua sababu ya mama yake kupoteza maisha kwa njaa, so anaona bora atangulie yeye… akawa anamuaga pale kwa kumwambia she is the best mom in the world, and she loves her more than anything or anyone in the world, anampenda kiasi kwamba anayatoa maisha yake ili yeye mama yake aendelee kuishi. Akiwa anaondoka pale mlangoni ndo anasikia mlango unafunguliwa, kugeuka anamuona her mom amenyong’onyea macho makavu, ikabidi amfuate wakakumbatiana huku wote wanalia..
Nora akaendelea kuniambia kuwa anachoshangaa ni kuwa kila akimuomba mama yake amsamehe, anamwambia kosa sio lake, ni la huyo bazazi. Ndo akaniuliza, “Kiga au kuna kitu ulimuudhi mom Zaidi ya hiki?”, nikawa najiumauma pale, natamani nimwambie ukweli bt nikajikuta tu ‘hapana’ imenitoka automatically. Then akaendelea kunipa updates kuwa after she made sure her mom is ok, she came to my house, na inaonekana kama sipo muda mrefu. Ndo na mimi nikamhadithia what has happened so far. Sikumficha kitu, “so now you have your own office” aliuliza huku kama anacheka. “yeah its small bt I plan to grow it big”, nikawa namjibu pale. Akauliza hadi ilipo nikamtajia. Bt nikakumbuka kuwa mimi na yeye hatuna future kabisa, kutokana na hii situation ilivyo… so nikamwambia, “Kiddo, I know you love me, believe me, I love you too. Ila mama yako hawezi kubali mahusiano yetu so its better you move on”…. Nakumbuka Norah alikua kimya tu, alipoongea tena nikagundua alikua Analia “you are giving up on me bro …. (sob)……. please, don’t do this…….. my life will be miserable without you…… I love you so much…….. please don’t leave”, sikueza endelea kusikia mpenzi wangu akilia, nikakata simu.
She didn’t call again… although lazima nikiri mara nyingi nilitamani kupiga ile namba ili niongee nae tena. Bt siku zikapita. Wiki moja ikawa mbili, hadi zikafifa tatu. Nikawa najua Norah atakua ameelewa somo. Biashara yangu ikawa I naenda fresh tu, yani sikosi hela ya kula wala kuishi. Muda wote huo sijawaambia mama yangu na dada yangu kuwa nimepiga chini kazi na nipo dsm. Nakumbuka siku moja sis alinipigia akaniambia kampuni inapitia wakati mgumu, kuna maamuzi waliyachukua yanawakost na itachukua months kurudi katika hali ya kawaida, nikapata sababu ya kutowaambia abt me maana watazidi kupanick.
One Friday nakumbuka nipo naburn CDs za watu, tena wale wateja ambao wanataka muda huo huo waondoke nayo. Nikahisi kama kuna mteja amesimama muda mrefu bila kuagiza chochote, muda huo nlikua bize namuongelesha mteja wangu aliyekua amekaa kwa pembeni. Then nikaangalia upande wan je, ndo kumuona sasa,… Norah Mekonnen mwenyewe. Nikajikuta nimesimama ghafla nikamkimbilia. I hugged her so tightly. “what are you doing here?”, wala hata hajibu kitu… “umefikajefikaje hapa?” nikamuuliza huku najichomoa mwilini mwake… alikua amevaa kitu walikua wanaita ‘pedo pusha’ nyeupe na ki t-shirt cha pink. Zilimkaa vyema.
Kwakuwa hakuwa anajibu kitu, nikampa kiti akakaa pale kwa nje, mi nikaingia ndani kumalizana na mteja. Nlivomaliza nikafunga kabisa ofisi, tukasogea pale kwenye bar ndo kuanza kupiga stori. Maswali yangu yakutaka kujua amefikaje pale akayapotezea, alichonambia cha kwanza ni kuwa, anataka kusikia kutoka kwangu direct nikimpiga chini. Nikaanza maelezo pale, ooh unajua mama yako haezi kubali ….
Nikasikia “fu.ck what other people are thinking, the equation is very simple, you love me or you don’t”, “ofcourse I love you, ninachoogopa ni kukupotezea muda wako” nikajielezea pale. Ndo akanambia “skiza Kiga (mara chache sana ananiitaga jina langu halisi), what my mom is feeling now is disappointment, aliniamini sana mimi na pia alikuamini sana wewe akijua huezi mfanyia ulichofanya, but mi na wewe tunajua kuwa tunachofanya kinasukumwa na hisia tunazofeel to each other. Baada ya muda hasira za mama zitapoa, inaeza chukua miezi but it will so lets not give up now”.
Nikashindwa kubisha wala kukubaliana nae. What she was saying made sense, ila najua kama angejua mkanda mzima asingefikiri anavyofikiri sasa. Kiufupi tukakubaliana kuendelea. Nikafurahi kuona anasmile. Akaanza kupata na soda pale huku ananisimulia namna alivyokuja. Anasema alivyoona simtafuti, ilikua hana jinsi ikabidi aje dsm. Alimwambia mama yake anataka aje dar amsalimie KM maana hajamuona muda. Mama yake aligoma katakata, mpaka ikabidi ampigie KM amsaidie kumuombea ruhusa. Mama yake alikubali kwa sharti la kutotoka kwenda popote alone. Ndo akafanikiwa kuja janayake na leo akaanza kunisaka hapa Kimara, akasema anabahati siku ile alisikia nikitaja mtaa ofisi yangu ilipo. Nlipomuuliza kama KM katoa ruhusa, akasema hapana, alivyotoka kwenda job na yeye kamalizia vishughuri pale akaja.
Badae nikamwambia akapaone na home kabisa. Akakubali kwa sharti la kutochelewa maana ni kama ametoroka home. Nikamfikisha hadi ghetto, kuingia ghetto lenyewe simpo, sebule ina stuli tu… na room kuna kitanda, godoro na stuli. It was such a simple life aisee. Bt hata hakumind, she sat on the bed nikakaa kwenye stuli. Akanionesha kwa ishara nikakae pembeni yake, nikatii. Nlivokaa, akanigeukia akaanza kunikiss. I missed those lips. And they didnt disappoint.
Bt nlivotaka kuanza kutalii maeneo mengine akaniomba niache. Akahofia tukianza atachelewa kutoka na kesho atashindwa kuja. Basi nikamuacha, we started talking other things, ndo akaniambia j3 wanafungua shule, so jpili anasepa. Bt akawa ameahidi kesho atakuja mapema.
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Kesho yake mida ya saa nne kweli akaja. Nlikua hata sijatoka kitandani. Siku hiyo sikua na mpango wa kwenda kufungua ofisi. Kunfungulia ndo kuona kaja na mazagazaga kibao. Yaani alikuja na jiko la mafuta ya taa, masufuria, ndoo, sahani, vijiko vikombe yaani alifungasha hasa. Mi nashangaa pale, binti kaanza kuandaa cha kupika, alikua amenunua maini buchani pamoja na unga wa ugali. Akanambia nikajipumzishe room. Kweli nikamuachia nafasi afanye yake. Nikawa nacheki tu movie kitandani. Alifanya usafi kila mahali that day alivyomaliza kupika, then ndo akaniletea msosi, tukakaa chini tukaanza kula.
Mara anilishe na mimi namlisha, namsifia amepika vizuri (ingawa akawa anajistukia kazidisha chumvi, bt was ok to me) bas it was full burdani. After eating akaosha kila kitu then akaniambia tukaoge. Bafu lilikua out, ila kuna uzio na wapangaji ni wawili tu tunaoshare bafu, nikaona sio kesi twen’zetu. Aliniogesha that day, then alivonitakatisha, kaanza kuosha rombo kwa mdomo wake. It felt so good. Kiufupi cha kwanza nilikiachia mdomoni kwake, na wala hakuhangaika kutema……….
Mechi kamili ilipigwa ndani. Mpaka tunamaliza ni jioni kigiza kinaingia. Nlikua nmemuandalia zawadi ya hela. Nlijua anaenda shule so nikawa nimemuwekea laki moja katikati ya kadi ya ‘thank you’, nikamwambia asifungue mpaka kesho akiwa kwenye basi, akapromise atafanya hivyo. Wakati namsindikiza akaniambia ameniachia pia zawadi chini ya sahani kwenye stuli ya sebuleni, nikirudi nikaicheki. Nakumbuka nimemsindikiza hadi kituoni, nikaona haitoshi, nikapanda nae gari hadi ubungo pale tanesko ndo kituo kilikuepo. Nikampandisha gari za tabata, nikaona haitoshi na mimi nikazama. Kiufupi nlimsindikiza hadi nje ya nyumba yao that day.
Nlivorudi direct kwenye zawadi. Kufunua sahani, nakutana na hela. Elfu hamsini za noti. I just smilled. Nikaona ameandika na ujumbe, anasema “this is to show you that, I always got your back. So no matter what, please don’t give up on me….. I love you”.
……..The long winter……
Mawasiliano yetu na Nora yalikua yanaenda poa sana. Kiasi kwamba nikawa sometimes nasahau kabisa msala ulio mbele yangu. Kwa msukumo alionipa nikafanikiwa hatimaye kusajili kampuni yangu. Ofisi ikawa palepale nlipokuepo. Nikawa sasa natafuta taasisi zinazohitaji huduma za kampuni yangu.. mwanzo nilidhani issue itakua nyepesi, ila sikufanikiwa kuattract any customer, nikawa life linasonga kwa kazi zilezile za CD pale Kimara. Na mnaeza shangaa lakini nlikua nikipiga mahesabu hela nliyoingiza kwa mwezi ilikua inazidi mshahara nlokua napokea kule Dom, sema life ya DSM ni more expensive so sikua nasave kiviile kama kwenye job ya Dom.
Muda wote tukiwasiliana nae nlikua namuuliza khs mama yake. Na kila nlipomuuliza alikua ananijibu kwa huzuni, kuwa mama yake inaonekana bado anahuzunishwa na kilichotokea. Moyoni nlijua kinachomsumbua boss Rona wala sio mwanae kutiwa, ni ile shame ya kushare rombo na mwanae, hasa ile the last day. Na Nora akawa ananiambia sometimes alikua anamgusia kuhusu mimi ili walau anisamehe, akawq anamwambia eti mm ni kijana mstaarabu na najutia nlichofanya ndo maana nikaacha kazi kwenda kufungua kampuni ambayo wala hainilipi. bt mama yake hukasirika sana na kutotaka kusikia chochote.
Katika pilikapilika nikawa nimefahamu taasisi zilizo chini ya wizara flani zinampango wa kuweka systems mpya ktk mtandao wao wa ndani. So nikawa nimetuma proposals zangu ingawa nkijua sipati. Ktk maongezi na Nora nikawa nimemgusia ili aniweke kwenye maombi. Ilichukua muda kupata majibu, ila kuna siku nikaitwa wizarani. Nikawekwa mtu kati na wakugurugenzi kadhaa pale na wakuu wa hizo taasisi. Mmoja wao akaniambia kkampuni yangu imekua recommended na wakubwa, ila kabla ya kazi walitaka kujua namna ntakavyoifanya. Nikawapa presentation pale wakaonekana kuridhika. Badae sasa mmojja wapo ndo akaniita pembeni kaniambia nnachopaswa kufanya. Kiufupi ilitakiwa nifanye juu chini bajeti niizidishe mara tatu ya kiwango nnachohitaji, then nikilipwa nawapa chao, (yaani mara tatu ya bajeti halisi ndugu msomaji, bwana eeh, watu serikkalini wanajua kuiba).
Kweli issue ikatiki. Ingawa serikalini hulipwi kwa wakati ila kazi nlipewa. Kipindi hicho ilikua likizo fupi ya Nora, so ile wiki alikuja kwangu. Alivyosikia ile issue ya dili wizarani ndo akaniambia alimgusia mama yake na kumuomba kama ana namna yoyote afanye. Sikuamini direct kwamba Boss Rona anaeza kwanza kunisaidia bazazi mie, lakini pia sikuhisi ana hiyo influence ya kuweza kupendekeza tenda apewe fulani.
Ila matukio yaliyoendelea baadae yalinifanya niamini alihusika. Kwanza haikupita muda mrefu alihamishwa kule akarudishwa wizarani na akapandishwa cheo kuwa mmoja wa directors pale wizarani kwao, so nikajua she has someone very influential huko juu.
Ile wiki ya likizo ya Nora nliinjoi mno. Maana sikua nimewahi kukaa nae siku nyingi hivyo. Pamoja na malavidavi, ma outing na mashopping, she helped with my business pale kibandani kwangu. Na akanishauri nitafute mdada wa kuwa ananisaidia maana now ntakua busy zaidi na kazi za kampuni. Nikakubbaliana nae, basi akasema ataendesha zoezi la usahili mwenyewe. Na kweli akaweka matangazo na akampata binti mmoja wa kirangi anaitwa Nasra. Nasra ndo alikua amemaliza diploma ya IT, tukamuajiri kama intern maana hatukutaka kuanza kumlipa pesa ndefu, kazi yenyewe moja tu nliyopata na bado pesa ya kumaliziwa ambayo ndo kubwa sijapewa bado.
Nora alivyorudi shule ndo akanambia amemuajiri Nasra makusudi. Maana anajua kuelekea mbele mpaka amalize form six inaweza ikawa tunaonana kwa nadra so Nasra atakua ananipooza nikibanwa ham. Yani Nora alikua anaongea huku anacheka, nikawq najua utani. Ila akawa ananisisitiza mara zote, kuwa msichana pekee atakae ruhusu nimgonge ni Nasra, ila nisifall nae tu. Nikawa nampotezea najua ni utoto.
Ile hela bana ya wizara nlivokuja lipwa ilibadilisha my life. Nikanunua ki starlet kutoka kwa jamaa mmoja hivi tulisoma nae. Nikapanua pale ofisini, yani nikakodi the next room halafu nikaviunganisha. Nikawa sasa najiona mtu, hata mama akija atanisifu kwa kutoboa life bila usaidizi wake. The year passed, Nora kamaliza shule. Kampuni ikawa inajulikana katika korido za serikali. Nasra sikuwahi hata kumtamani ingawa nshapewa go ahead na Nora, yy mwenyewe aliniheshim sana kama boss wake. Pale ofisini nikawa nimeongeza dogo mwingine aliitwa Mussa ambae kwa kweli nilimuajiri baada ya kuona anajituma sana ukimpa kazi kama kibarua wa muda, na alionesha anamajukum kinoma. So nikaona nimsaidie kwa kumpa namna ya kupata income kila mwezi, so tukawa watatu pale job.
http://pseudepigraphas.blogspot.com/
Baada ya kumaliza shule, ile amefika dar tu (maana familia nzima sasa ilikua dsm), kesho yake kaja. That day sikwenda hata job. Tulijifungia tu home, tulikulana kinoma siku hiyo, msosi tukaenda chukua tu takeaway bt kazi kubwa ilikua mikasi. Badae ananiuliza kama nilimla Nasra, nikamhakikishia I’ve never been with anyone else. Tukaanza kupanga mipango ya kumuingia maza ake sasa. Akasema itabidi amshirikishe KM maana now anajiona ashakua na she wants me to be accepted in the family. Nikawa nasita. Maana najua, boss Rona anaeza amua kama mbwai mbwai akamwaga siri. Nikawa namshauri tujipe muda kwanza.
ITAENDELEA
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